So, this week at work I have realized that its not that I attract wierd people,its just that every office has them. I have decided to make this blog on the people in every office that people find memorable, or annoying, or both. lol.
First of all lets talk about the infamous 'close talker'. This is the person who starts a conversation at the coffee pot, break room, bathroom, or water cooler. This is the person who choses the wrong time to talk about her son's personal bathroom time, her ingrown hair on her inner thigh, or the last time she had her bikini zone waxed, things you never wanted to hear about in the first place, much less when you are not supposed to be out of your desk, but you are because you need coffee, to pee, water or whatever else you were sneaking away from your desk from. She not only tells you all of these nasty little details, but also stands with her face less than two feet from yours so you feel as though you are going to inhale all of her ingrown hairs, pubic hairs or her lunch that is still on her her breath and attatched to her teeth. This person also has a smile on her face, because she is more than happy to share her odd life with anyone willing....or stuck, trapped in the corner...listening. Now, lets take a second to talk about the smile...it is creepy. Its invadnig. Its one that you will remember for the rest of your life. It will haunt you in your sleep, and it will follow you throughout the day. You will peek around corners, check for feet under the bathroom stalls, and check both ways before crossing the walkway between cubicles. Anything to avoid getting caught within five feet of the smile.
The next one I would like to bring to attention is the "how much do you love me" guy. This is the guy that comes to you whenever he has news, good, bad or wierd news. Before sharing this news with you, whether or not its your business or something you would ever want to hear he prefaces it with "So....how much do you love me?" Usually this makes you feel like you are forced to sat something along the lines of "a lot" or "bunchies" even though you really want to say "not at all" or "over my dead body". This is also the same person that will discipline if you stop entertaining his smug jokes, or act like a child if you dont return the flirts. Usually the last person you would ever think aboutn flirting with or talking to. Also the person that finds his way into management by accident and then makes your life hell by either trying to be overly nice, or powertripping. Either one extremely annoying and could change your best days into days you just want to crawl into a pit and never come out again.
The next person is one that we all have the potential to be, but no one wants to be, or wants to be near. This is the person that talks louder than anyone on the floor. Usually this talk is inapropriate or personal. The volume is usually loud enough that you then have to explain to the consumers that you are not at home, they did get the right number, the person in the background is not your girlsfriend, and this is not a prank. This persons conversations can range from an ex's penis, to how much they hate there job, to singing the newest song from the radio while shaking there tale feathers, to, well just about anything you wouldnt want to hear being yelled out at work. There isnt much to say about this person. They are usually really nice to everyone, and geniunly fun to watch from afar.
So, in an effort to help you figure out which catagory the people from your office fit into, I should also probably tell you that if you don't recognize someone from your office as being one of these people, its probably you. Its possible for one person to take on more than one of these roles, or more than one person to share roles. At which point you will notice them avoid each other, bicker back and forth, and usually act like elementary students when within five feet of each other.
This blog is not meant to offend anyone, merely to inform you that if you find that you may meet some of these charateristics, maybe instead of talking about your toe jam next time you should seriously think about having your coworker help you assess the situation.
Just sharing the truth,
Jessica
Saturday, April 4, 2009
This is old from the Electionish times.
The election!
Why I voted for Obama....In the weeks prior to the election I was very anxious about voting. I didnt know who to vote for or who would do a better job. I felt as though I had to chose the lesser of two evils and I did not like that. I began praying for God to help me make the right desicion. I am registered as neither Democrat or Republican, but I usually vote Republican. I am conservative but think our country needs a change. On one hand I had someone who had served in the military, a person who gave years of his life for my freedom, and on the other hand i had someone not so expierenced and whos veiws and beliefs are so different than my own.Let me start with amendments and things first.I beleive in the Bible, I follow the Bible, and I live by it. I know the Bible says only a man and a woman can get married. It also says that God loves us, in Romans it says NOTHING can seperate us from the love of God. Nothing! I believe that! I also know that we are human. I beleve everyone is different and struggles with different thingsand has different morals and beliefs of whats right. I know I sin. I am not always nice, I skip church, i drink, i do bad things sometimes, i am not perfect...no where near and would NEVER claim to be. But I know I need to turn to God, and so does everyone who is struggling no matter what the sin is. I know that Nothing can seperate us from God, I also know that if you are TRUELY a believer and follower of Jesus and the Bible than you know whats right for yourself. I know you know when you are sinning and that you know that you have to turn back to God and ask for forgiveness. I also know that if you are a true believer than the question of "Will God allow someone into heaven who is "gay"?" No one is perfect, accept God, and God knows that. But you have to make the effort to truely give up the things that hinder your relationship with God, and if you are really doing that, yeah, you might stumble, but you will get back up and try again. And he loves us. If you are not a Christian...thats your choice, im not judging you, I love you and im here for you. I amy not agree with what you are doing and you might not agree with me on this. I have my beliefs and so do you and thats ok with me!So, im guessing you can figure out how I voted on Ammendment 2.As far as abortion....Im sorry if I oofend anyone or hurt someones feelings, I do not under ANY circumstances agree with abortion. I know God allows things for a reason and ya, it might suck for a while, but there are always other options. I beleive that if it comes to a health risk, GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!! You have to trust that God will do whatis right, and while you may not fully understand it, God is in control! I know its a touchy subject because there are always the extenuating circumstances where a 11 year old gets raped by a man and she gets pregnant....as hard as it is to say because I have a little girl...GOD is in control!!! If I am in a situation...God Forbid...where I have to make a hard desicion, GOD is in control. Will I react the right way and make the right choice, I dont know, but God is in control, and as long as I am following him and praying constantly and faithfully God IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL!!! Again, we may not understand whats going on, or why God would allow things to happen but as long as you focus on heaven you will be ok!!!!!Now to the Good stuff. I really feel like it was a very difficult election and that a lot of people were stuck in a very hard place trying to make sure they made the right desicion. To be honest when I got my ballot I skipped the president part until the end. Then I prayed to God to show me the right choice. then I flipped it over and filled in the bubble and looked to see who it was, and it was Obama. I am very happy that I voted him. Do I agree with him on everything, no but thats not what is important. our country is in trouble. We need a change! i know a lot of Christians are having a hard time with this election, but no matter what we would have done I know that Obama would have gotten it, becasue that is GODS PLAN!!!! He will make it happen. Will Obama mess up...yeah, we all do he is just under a microscope and every move he makes is being analyzed. I think he is going to do really good. I think he will begin to fix the economy. But like he said, will it be fixed in four years, maybe not, but we need to start somewhere. I think JOhn McCain is very old...no effence to the older readers, but I see how much it aged Bush to be president and I dont think McCain could have really handled it. He began making bad desicions on the campaign trail as far as debates and important issues. He made the "safe desicion" to get the popular vote instead of standing for what he really believed. I read so many different stories about where he stands on marriage. Some reports show him opposing it, some say he left it up to the state. He also didnt want to debate on the economy, and we are in the middle of an economic crisis right now. Its very imoprtant to always be knowledgeable about the events that are going on right now, you wont have 2 and 3 weeks to prepare for a desicion when you are President. I believe we should be in Iraq right now. I think we should be gradually getting out, but not immediately. If we do that we put ourselves at a greater risk and its just not good. Think the board game Trouble, when none of pieces have moved yet, your leaving the whole board to the other players, you have to make sure you can make a move when needed. I dont think Palin was a good desicion for Vice President. I think there were plenty of other more experienced and knowledgeable options. Palin was also making a lot of mistakes. In the middle of an economic crisis she is shopping and spending thousands on clothes, when families are starving beacue the parents cant afford gas to get to work so they arent making any money. I think we should be drilling here at home for oil as well, while still finding other reasoruces for oil and such. I know personally someone whos families living is off of corn oil. They grow corn and sell it to oil companies so they can find new ways to use it instead. That being said, we have PLENTY of reasources here at home we need to use to lower prices here in America.Now, do I think Obama is perfect...no not at all. Number one, and the BIGGEST issue is his stance ..ion. Read the top if you have any questions on that. I also think he is very young. I dont think he really understands what is coming at him...I dont think any President really gets it until they have it. (similar to new parents planning to have kids. you really want it, and then you get it and its soooo much more than you ever expected) I also think he can handle it. He was on his game in the campaighn and that was great. People say you cant really judge a person by how they act on a campaign trail....well lets be honest, what else dowe have to judge them by. I really dont know much about Biden to be honest. I am very impressed with Obama so far. His speech on Tuesday night, the Flat Stanley he sent back to the kids and his promise to his daughters about the puppy. It shows me he really cares in a way most presidents dont. He seems very genuine.As far as the Christians who are upset about the election...dont be. God is in control. I see a lot of people claiming to be Christians suddenly acting very different because they are upset. You cannot be like that. Obama is our next president like it or not. As an American we need to stand behind him and support him. He is representing us and we need to have a united front. We need a change in a lot of areas, Our crime rate is OUT OF CONTROL!!!!! In the past three months I was robbed at gun point, our house was broken into, a kid was murdered less than a mile away, kids are going missing, families are falling abpart, people are starving and we are worried about our candidate not winning. THATS OLD NEWS!!!! Move on. Figure out ways to make this place better!!! I am so proud of Obama. Most of you know Im a little white girl. I have never experienced segregation or rascism or being a minority. I think it is such a good change to see the underdog come up and win. I think it is a new era for our country. I am so proud of him for overcoming all he has and accomplishing this AMAZING postion as the PRESIDENT OF THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!! We need to get over the fact that this was not your candidate and support him and be TRUE CHRISTIANS!!! Besides, if he messes up, GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!! And I would say the same if McCain got elected!God Bless!
Why I voted for Obama....In the weeks prior to the election I was very anxious about voting. I didnt know who to vote for or who would do a better job. I felt as though I had to chose the lesser of two evils and I did not like that. I began praying for God to help me make the right desicion. I am registered as neither Democrat or Republican, but I usually vote Republican. I am conservative but think our country needs a change. On one hand I had someone who had served in the military, a person who gave years of his life for my freedom, and on the other hand i had someone not so expierenced and whos veiws and beliefs are so different than my own.Let me start with amendments and things first.I beleive in the Bible, I follow the Bible, and I live by it. I know the Bible says only a man and a woman can get married. It also says that God loves us, in Romans it says NOTHING can seperate us from the love of God. Nothing! I believe that! I also know that we are human. I beleve everyone is different and struggles with different thingsand has different morals and beliefs of whats right. I know I sin. I am not always nice, I skip church, i drink, i do bad things sometimes, i am not perfect...no where near and would NEVER claim to be. But I know I need to turn to God, and so does everyone who is struggling no matter what the sin is. I know that Nothing can seperate us from God, I also know that if you are TRUELY a believer and follower of Jesus and the Bible than you know whats right for yourself. I know you know when you are sinning and that you know that you have to turn back to God and ask for forgiveness. I also know that if you are a true believer than the question of "Will God allow someone into heaven who is "gay"?" No one is perfect, accept God, and God knows that. But you have to make the effort to truely give up the things that hinder your relationship with God, and if you are really doing that, yeah, you might stumble, but you will get back up and try again. And he loves us. If you are not a Christian...thats your choice, im not judging you, I love you and im here for you. I amy not agree with what you are doing and you might not agree with me on this. I have my beliefs and so do you and thats ok with me!So, im guessing you can figure out how I voted on Ammendment 2.As far as abortion....Im sorry if I oofend anyone or hurt someones feelings, I do not under ANY circumstances agree with abortion. I know God allows things for a reason and ya, it might suck for a while, but there are always other options. I beleive that if it comes to a health risk, GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!! You have to trust that God will do whatis right, and while you may not fully understand it, God is in control! I know its a touchy subject because there are always the extenuating circumstances where a 11 year old gets raped by a man and she gets pregnant....as hard as it is to say because I have a little girl...GOD is in control!!! If I am in a situation...God Forbid...where I have to make a hard desicion, GOD is in control. Will I react the right way and make the right choice, I dont know, but God is in control, and as long as I am following him and praying constantly and faithfully God IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL!!! Again, we may not understand whats going on, or why God would allow things to happen but as long as you focus on heaven you will be ok!!!!!Now to the Good stuff. I really feel like it was a very difficult election and that a lot of people were stuck in a very hard place trying to make sure they made the right desicion. To be honest when I got my ballot I skipped the president part until the end. Then I prayed to God to show me the right choice. then I flipped it over and filled in the bubble and looked to see who it was, and it was Obama. I am very happy that I voted him. Do I agree with him on everything, no but thats not what is important. our country is in trouble. We need a change! i know a lot of Christians are having a hard time with this election, but no matter what we would have done I know that Obama would have gotten it, becasue that is GODS PLAN!!!! He will make it happen. Will Obama mess up...yeah, we all do he is just under a microscope and every move he makes is being analyzed. I think he is going to do really good. I think he will begin to fix the economy. But like he said, will it be fixed in four years, maybe not, but we need to start somewhere. I think JOhn McCain is very old...no effence to the older readers, but I see how much it aged Bush to be president and I dont think McCain could have really handled it. He began making bad desicions on the campaign trail as far as debates and important issues. He made the "safe desicion" to get the popular vote instead of standing for what he really believed. I read so many different stories about where he stands on marriage. Some reports show him opposing it, some say he left it up to the state. He also didnt want to debate on the economy, and we are in the middle of an economic crisis right now. Its very imoprtant to always be knowledgeable about the events that are going on right now, you wont have 2 and 3 weeks to prepare for a desicion when you are President. I believe we should be in Iraq right now. I think we should be gradually getting out, but not immediately. If we do that we put ourselves at a greater risk and its just not good. Think the board game Trouble, when none of pieces have moved yet, your leaving the whole board to the other players, you have to make sure you can make a move when needed. I dont think Palin was a good desicion for Vice President. I think there were plenty of other more experienced and knowledgeable options. Palin was also making a lot of mistakes. In the middle of an economic crisis she is shopping and spending thousands on clothes, when families are starving beacue the parents cant afford gas to get to work so they arent making any money. I think we should be drilling here at home for oil as well, while still finding other reasoruces for oil and such. I know personally someone whos families living is off of corn oil. They grow corn and sell it to oil companies so they can find new ways to use it instead. That being said, we have PLENTY of reasources here at home we need to use to lower prices here in America.Now, do I think Obama is perfect...no not at all. Number one, and the BIGGEST issue is his stance ..ion. Read the top if you have any questions on that. I also think he is very young. I dont think he really understands what is coming at him...I dont think any President really gets it until they have it. (similar to new parents planning to have kids. you really want it, and then you get it and its soooo much more than you ever expected) I also think he can handle it. He was on his game in the campaighn and that was great. People say you cant really judge a person by how they act on a campaign trail....well lets be honest, what else dowe have to judge them by. I really dont know much about Biden to be honest. I am very impressed with Obama so far. His speech on Tuesday night, the Flat Stanley he sent back to the kids and his promise to his daughters about the puppy. It shows me he really cares in a way most presidents dont. He seems very genuine.As far as the Christians who are upset about the election...dont be. God is in control. I see a lot of people claiming to be Christians suddenly acting very different because they are upset. You cannot be like that. Obama is our next president like it or not. As an American we need to stand behind him and support him. He is representing us and we need to have a united front. We need a change in a lot of areas, Our crime rate is OUT OF CONTROL!!!!! In the past three months I was robbed at gun point, our house was broken into, a kid was murdered less than a mile away, kids are going missing, families are falling abpart, people are starving and we are worried about our candidate not winning. THATS OLD NEWS!!!! Move on. Figure out ways to make this place better!!! I am so proud of Obama. Most of you know Im a little white girl. I have never experienced segregation or rascism or being a minority. I think it is such a good change to see the underdog come up and win. I think it is a new era for our country. I am so proud of him for overcoming all he has and accomplishing this AMAZING postion as the PRESIDENT OF THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!! We need to get over the fact that this was not your candidate and support him and be TRUE CHRISTIANS!!! Besides, if he messes up, GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!! And I would say the same if McCain got elected!God Bless!
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