Hindsight!

So I have been thinking recently about my daughter and the things she goes through as a five year old. I tend to catch myself thinking back to when I was 5. I remember it being pretty tough. But now when I watch Lorelei it seems so easy. Its not like I went through a bunch of stuff that Lorelei got to miss or anything. I really think it has to do with perspective. As a child we think everything has to do with toys and candy and playing outside. As an adult I see that if you just clean your room and listen you can have all the toys and candy you want while your playing.



This got me thinking about a lot of other things, such as high school. When I was in high school all I cared about was new clothes and hanging out with my friends and boyfriend. As an adult I no longer fit in those clothes, am friends with the same people, and that boyfriend is now my ex...who I just settled visitation and child support with. So as you can see that stuff no longer matters. But it was the same thing. As long as I cleaned my room and listened I could get new clothes, and hang out with my friends and boyfriend all I wanted.



So now here I am an adult. All I have to show for the days of eating candy and hanging out with my boyfriend is a five year old who like candy from my ex boyfriend. Which got me thinking, Where the hell am I gonna be in another ten years. Now I know the things that are a big deal wont matter then, so what matters? Everyone says being a good person matters, but as a child when I was a good person I just got more candy, which doesn't matter now. Not saying that we shouldn't be good people, but the only thing that has stayed consistent my whole life is to get what you want you have to clean your room and listen. But who am I listening to know? I'm 23 years old, my mom lives in another town and my dad in another state.



I'm not sure hindsight is really beneficial. No, I know its not. It really just frustrates me as a parent. I now know that the things that bother Lorelei so much will not matter to her when she's older. So I am really stuck. Do I give her the things that make her happy now, like candy and toys, knowing that in a few years they wont matter and she wont remember. Should I wait till she's older and the things I give her will last longer and she will remember? Should I do what all of the magazines say. Spend time with her, don't spoil her, make her do chores? If I spend more time with her then I already do she would be going to work with me. If I spoil her any less then she wont have anything, and we all know that for the rest of her life she will be cleaning her room, she has a lifetime to learn how. Besides, everyone deserves a messy room at some point in life.



If you go to a playground and you see a child climbing on something your first instinct is to help them down, so they don't get hurt. If they fall they make break a bone, or need stitches. Well, as a parent of a recently injured child, I know that stitches are a big deal. But even bigger than that is the lesson the child learned. In two weeks I have not had to tell her to stop climbing or to be more careful. Is that not what life is all about. Learning little lessons to get you further along and allow you to survive more independently. She can think for herself now in a way she couldn't before falling off of her doll house.



As children our parents always say, "Just wait till you have a kid, I hope they are exactly like you so you can see what I go through." Well, I must say my parents got very lucky! Lorelei is a good kid. She is also smart. At five years old she completely bathes herself, knows not to climb, can count to over 100, knows her ABC's, can almost read, and sleeps in on the weekends. My parents were very lucky!



So, what have I learned from all of this "hindsight"? Well, for starters the only thing that matters is that you clean your room. Listening is not important because as an adult your parents live far away and you only really need to pretend like your listening. And finally, when you are threatening your kids never tell them that you hope there kids are just like them because that, my friend, is not a threat.



So I hope you all have learned from our little session today. For those of you who are not parents....just wait, someday somewhere someones kids, whether its your own or your friends, you too will understand all this talk about hindsight!

Just sharing the truth,

Jessica